为什么 ... 我想要你的浪漫 , 想要你的体贴 , 想要你为我做的 ,

都是我先为你做 ?

我好像有点累了 ...

Argue with him again .
I really made him fed up on me this time ,
all because of my bad tempered .
He cant stand anymore .
He said he need privacy ,
Because all of my doubt and bad tempered on him ,
he changed his feeling towards me .

No wonder I don't feel that he is as love as last time .

I'm so regret of what I did to him , I hate myself for being so fussy .

He went club without me ,

but he was trying to hide from me untill I got to know the truth by someone .

I'm sad that he did that ,

I wonder why he will broke his promise and go club without me ,

is it he feel boring with me ?

is it he doesnt love me anymore ?

I got the answer from him ,

that is his friend ask him to go ,

he need privacy .

And now ,

we broke up .

He is trying to love me more than last time ,

he is trying to catch back the feeling .

He said will kao me back when he got the feeling to love me like last time .

But I don't have any confidence on it ,

All because of me ,

he lose the feeling , he fed up .

Something that already change , means changed , difficult to back to normal .

I really lose confidence that he will loves me once again yet of course I hope he can do it .

All I need to do is just wait , wait and wait .

I feel so effing helpless and torture when waiting the answer from him

I scare to accept the fact .

What should I do next ?

I don't know :(

Should I continue wait ?

What if I need to wait very long ?

What if one day he told me that , sorry we cant back to last time ?

Someone who close with him told me privately ,

He is a good boyfren actually ,

he do what also will think of me .

Is it true ?

If not we argue

we will be holding hands attending yumi's wedding

we are the first for each other as a couple attend the wedding together

But I broke this chance

We might cant attend the wedding by holding hands

We might cant grab the " Flower Ball " from yumi

I am so regret and dissappointed .

I miss him badly .

I will change my attitude .

We planned to go for movie on monday

I am looking forward to treat him good that day :(

We've been so long time never get to watch movie together

Only two of us :(

But his friend want to join too

Then I was trying to tell him that actually I thought there are only two of us going ,

but he still calling his friend :(

Kinda sad actually .

I dunno what should I do next .

We really cannot back to last time ?

I cant hold his hands anymore

I cant hug him anymore

I cant overnite at his house anymore

I cant kiss him anymore

I cant sayang his face anymore

I lost everything of him .

我觉得你是不会看这blog了吧 ?
因为我很少update .
就算看了 , 你也不会有河反应 ,
但是我只想写出我心底的话 .

我错了
我每次无理取闹
弄得他很辛苦
因为我不信他
但我自己也很辛苦啊 , 我已经尝试相信回他了 :(

因为我们时常吵架 ,
现在感觉上我和他的距离已慢慢的疏远
都是我自己拿来衰的
制造了一道墙在我们之间
我好后悔我自己所做的 =(

就算我和他说了多少次我的心声 ,
问题总是没解决到
因为我的他 , 真的不比以前的他 , 那个傻傻的他了

他的傻样
看到我时会闪边的 , 害羞
他的部落格 , 他总是那么兴奋的写着我们的故事
他总是在他朋友面前提起我
他送我一朵花 , 我永远都记得 , 因为他是第一个送我花的男友
他悄悄的来我家找我 , 从我后面抱着我
我们很开心的庆祝第一个月 , 第二个月 , 第三个月 ...
我很喜欢他看着我的样子

但是
日子久了
真的什么都会变
我们慢慢的 , 他不再是那个傻样
他的部落格就没再更新我门的故事了

当初我是不是不应该开始呢 ?

我不想我们的感情会变质 ,
因为我爱他

我真的好想能回到从前

但他又何否知道其实自己的他已经不再是小燕心目中百分之百的男友呢 ?
她很希望他能理解 ,
但无论她说了几多
他只会觉得她在无理取闹 , 想多了
他总是会跟她说 : 你想多了 .
她却觉得如果真的想多了 , 为什么想要跟他放心在一起放心把自己交给他的感觉却涧涧的少 ?

我再也不敢问他问题了
就算我有多不安也好 ,
就算问了 , 他总是会觉得厌卷 ,
而且更伤感情

到底要怎么做 ,
我们才能回到以前呢 ?
要怎样做我都一定会做 !