答应你的事我会做到
我不会乱想!
给我点时间哦 ...
我爱你丫比比 ^.^
比丫
很想听你说
老婆,我是真的真的很爱你 :(
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Argue with him again .
I really made him fed up on me this time ,
all because of my bad tempered .
He cant stand anymore .
He said he need privacy ,
Because all of my doubt and bad tempered on him ,
he changed his feeling towards me .
I really made him fed up on me this time ,
all because of my bad tempered .
He cant stand anymore .
He said he need privacy ,
Because all of my doubt and bad tempered on him ,
he changed his feeling towards me .
No wonder I don't feel that he is as love as last time .
I'm so regret of what I did to him , I hate myself for being so fussy .
He went club without me ,
but he was trying to hide from me untill I got to know the truth by someone .
I'm sad that he did that ,
I wonder why he will broke his promise and go club without me ,
is it he feel boring with me ?
is it he doesnt love me anymore ?
I got the answer from him ,
that is his friend ask him to go ,
he need privacy .
And now ,
we broke up .
He is trying to love me more than last time ,
he is trying to catch back the feeling .
He said will kao me back when he got the feeling to love me like last time .
But I don't have any confidence on it ,
All because of me ,
he lose the feeling , he fed up .
Something that already change , means changed , difficult to back to normal .
I really lose confidence that he will loves me once again yet of course I hope he can do it .
All I need to do is just wait , wait and wait .
I feel so effing helpless and torture when waiting the answer from him
I scare to accept the fact .
What should I do next ?
I don't know :(
Should I continue wait ?
What if I need to wait very long ?
What if one day he told me that , sorry we cant back to last time ?
Someone who close with him told me privately ,
He is a good boyfren actually ,
he do what also will think of me .
Is it true ?
If not we argue
we will be holding hands attending yumi's wedding
we are the first for each other as a couple attend the wedding together
But I broke this chance
We might cant attend the wedding by holding hands
We might cant grab the " Flower Ball " from yumi
I am so regret and dissappointed .
I miss him badly .
I will change my attitude .
We planned to go for movie on monday
I am looking forward to treat him good that day :(
We've been so long time never get to watch movie together
Only two of us :(
But his friend want to join too
Then I was trying to tell him that actually I thought there are only two of us going ,
but he still calling his friend :(
Kinda sad actually .
I dunno what should I do next .
We really cannot back to last time ?
I cant hold his hands anymore
I cant hug him anymore
I cant overnite at his house anymore
I cant kiss him anymore
I cant sayang his face anymore
I lost everything of him .
Thursday, October 14, 2010
我觉得你是不会看这blog了吧 ?
因为我很少update .
就算看了 , 你也不会有河反应 ,
但是我只想写出我心底的话 .
我错了
我每次无理取闹
弄得他很辛苦
因为我不信他
但我自己也很辛苦啊 , 我已经尝试相信回他了 :(
因为我们时常吵架 ,
现在感觉上我和他的距离已慢慢的疏远
都是我自己拿来衰的
制造了一道墙在我们之间
我好后悔我自己所做的 =(
就算我和他说了多少次我的心声 ,
问题总是没解决到
因为我的他 , 真的不比以前的他 , 那个傻傻的他了
他的傻样
看到我时会闪边的 , 害羞
他的部落格 , 他总是那么兴奋的写着我们的故事
他总是在他朋友面前提起我
他送我一朵花 , 我永远都记得 , 因为他是第一个送我花的男友
他悄悄的来我家找我 , 从我后面抱着我
我们很开心的庆祝第一个月 , 第二个月 , 第三个月 ...
我很喜欢他看着我的样子
但是
日子久了
真的什么都会变
我们慢慢的 , 他不再是那个傻样
他的部落格就没再更新我门的故事了
当初我是不是不应该开始呢 ?
我不想我们的感情会变质 ,
因为我爱他
我真的好想能回到从前
但他又何否知道其实自己的他已经不再是小燕心目中百分之百的男友呢 ?
她很希望他能理解 ,
但无论她说了几多
他只会觉得她在无理取闹 , 想多了
他总是会跟她说 : 你想多了 .
她却觉得如果真的想多了 , 为什么想要跟他放心在一起放心把自己交给他的感觉却涧涧的少 ?
我再也不敢问他问题了
就算我有多不安也好 ,
就算问了 , 他总是会觉得厌卷 ,
而且更伤感情
到底要怎么做 ,
我们才能回到以前呢 ?
要怎样做我都一定会做 !
因为我很少update .
就算看了 , 你也不会有河反应 ,
但是我只想写出我心底的话 .
我错了
我每次无理取闹
弄得他很辛苦
因为我不信他
但我自己也很辛苦啊 , 我已经尝试相信回他了 :(
因为我们时常吵架 ,
现在感觉上我和他的距离已慢慢的疏远
都是我自己拿来衰的
制造了一道墙在我们之间
我好后悔我自己所做的 =(
就算我和他说了多少次我的心声 ,
问题总是没解决到
因为我的他 , 真的不比以前的他 , 那个傻傻的他了
他的傻样
看到我时会闪边的 , 害羞
他的部落格 , 他总是那么兴奋的写着我们的故事
他总是在他朋友面前提起我
他送我一朵花 , 我永远都记得 , 因为他是第一个送我花的男友
他悄悄的来我家找我 , 从我后面抱着我
我们很开心的庆祝第一个月 , 第二个月 , 第三个月 ...
我很喜欢他看着我的样子
但是
日子久了
真的什么都会变
我们慢慢的 , 他不再是那个傻样
他的部落格就没再更新我门的故事了
当初我是不是不应该开始呢 ?
我不想我们的感情会变质 ,
因为我爱他
我真的好想能回到从前
但他又何否知道其实自己的他已经不再是小燕心目中百分之百的男友呢 ?
她很希望他能理解 ,
但无论她说了几多
他只会觉得她在无理取闹 , 想多了
他总是会跟她说 : 你想多了 .
她却觉得如果真的想多了 , 为什么想要跟他放心在一起放心把自己交给他的感觉却涧涧的少 ?
我再也不敢问他问题了
就算我有多不安也好 ,
就算问了 , 他总是会觉得厌卷 ,
而且更伤感情
到底要怎么做 ,
我们才能回到以前呢 ?
要怎样做我都一定会做 !
Monday, August 30, 2010
你说你明白
你明白什么 ?
你还是不明 ...
如果你明的话 ...
为什么每一次都要我说出来 , 你才会做 ?
如果 ,
我今天需要你陪 ,
你会乖乖待在家陪我吗 ?
你很想出 .
okay 出吧 .
因为我很不喜欢当每个人去玩去倒数 ,
而我就一个人在家 .
偏偏我就是一个人 , 独生女 .
我会觉得很寂莫 .
我只是想我爱的人留在身边陪我 .
可是
当你说你今晚会去倒数时
眼泪就不停的流了
就是不能停
因为我很害怕孤单 ...
你说你懂
你根本不懂
我post了好多wall post给你
I miss you .
Goodmorning bii
mr.dolphin
goodnight .
你有多少封是回复的?
你朋友就只post一个oii
你宁愿回他都不回我
这是什么? 你懂么 ?
别用少上网做借口 .
我们的第七个月
我不会在期盼什么了
也不会想要怎样庆祝了
一个月比一个月的少了惊喜
惊喜其实不用钱也可以做到
一个很简单的惊喜也可以很开心
12点了
国庆日
你不是我要一起倒数的对像 .
烟花放着
我做的想的 , 都不是想要和你一起去看烟花
我明天好想驾车去你学校找你
但是取消了这个念头
因为不见面 , 可能你会珍惜我比较多 .
你要抽烟
抽个够吧
我从此以后
都已经不在乎你抽不抽烟了
你懂 , 你明白的时候 ,
我不出声
你也会戒的 .
以前你会 : bii , we together 100days ady !! weeee
你很开心 , 你的傻样
我最喜欢
但
现在
我只会说 : oh , 原来207天了哦 , 他好像不懂哦 ...
总之
很多事都变了
不是我想多
是你没注臆到
或
你不晓得怎样变
你说你懂
但其实你不懂
我觉得
你不会去看这片文章吧
不管你有没有看见
不管我告诉你多少次
你都不会明白我
Saturday, May 8, 2010
I'm crying infront of the laptop right now , Imma Ham Bao , CRY is the way to let me let off something else , when I am not allow to let off by expressing out from my temper .. Because i'm alone , alone in the room , no one to talk to .
Call friends to talk ? I want to , but there are always friends call me first , i'm not the one who initiative to call someone ..
Promised him yesterday morning , I won't think much , trust him in his every single word or action .. Yea , and now , I really try my very best to trust him , I know he won't be a liar . My mind will still convince me that nothing is impossible , what he is doing outside u don't know ... I will trust yet still need abit of awareness to keep myself from hurts .
Every time when I need to suffer like worry , afraid of , lies of boyfriend
I will have a feeling comes to my mind , SINGLE really no need to suffer these things , relax enough . But ... I won't be so stubborn again to think it some more . Hmm .. because , suffer can develop our relationship , of cause not over limit suffer . If he really loves me , he won't so easy to let me go when meets obstacles .
I able to console my jimui around me about their love problems , but I fail to convince back myself , fail to do it . So I understand why there are some of them who still so stubborn even I have console them , because it is hard to do it ...
He sms me yesterday night , He wrote : I promise I'll give up my night life , stay at home at night everyday , I just don't want my laopo unhappy .. I rather give up than leaving my laopo unhappy always .
I cried when I saw the sms . But I don't know whether is it true , If i really agree and accept your promise , wants you to hold ur promise ; NO NIGHT LIFE ANYMORE
Do you really can do it as what u promise ? Or the promise u made may be just valid for a particular period ?
But at the end , I still let him continue with his night life , because I don't want to stop what he like to do .
I just want him to know what he is doing , what he is talking about when I'm not around . I don't want any lies between us . I very afraid that he will fall in love with another girl one day , as I said , I know he loves me much now , but nothing is impossible , who knows what will happen in the future ?
Whenever he is going out at night , I can't really sleep well on the whole night . Last time I won't wait him , but now wait him back home routinely is a MUST in my life , getting more care of him . These two days continuously , I sleep around 1am , but wake up at 4am ... Nothing to wake me up , automatically wake up , just because he is not in the home yet .
Every one is hovering around my ears , told me that He is a good guy , He really love me much .
I know , I witness it . But I still don't know why , I'll still think of possibilities of negative things will happen , maybe just to protect myself or as a preparation when it really happens ? Just like last time of my unawareness , I have no preparation at all , so i got hurt seriously .
Calvin ;
to conclude ,
I Love You ; I changed , to be loyal to boyfriend . Seriously put our relationship to priority . I hope you are the 7th , and the last .
I Trust You ; Anything must tell me honestly . When you have problems , treat me as your brother but not girlfriend , keng sam xi ; When I have problems , I will treat you as my jimui but not boyfriend , keng sam xi . This is what I want . I know I did wrong also , I didn't honest before . Let's start now together , always honest .
And one last thing
sorry for all
sorry for my bad tempered .
Call friends to talk ? I want to , but there are always friends call me first , i'm not the one who initiative to call someone ..
Promised him yesterday morning , I won't think much , trust him in his every single word or action .. Yea , and now , I really try my very best to trust him , I know he won't be a liar . My mind will still convince me that nothing is impossible , what he is doing outside u don't know ... I will trust yet still need abit of awareness to keep myself from hurts .
Every time when I need to suffer like worry , afraid of , lies of boyfriend
I will have a feeling comes to my mind , SINGLE really no need to suffer these things , relax enough . But ... I won't be so stubborn again to think it some more . Hmm .. because , suffer can develop our relationship , of cause not over limit suffer . If he really loves me , he won't so easy to let me go when meets obstacles .
I able to console my jimui around me about their love problems , but I fail to convince back myself , fail to do it . So I understand why there are some of them who still so stubborn even I have console them , because it is hard to do it ...
He sms me yesterday night , He wrote : I promise I'll give up my night life , stay at home at night everyday , I just don't want my laopo unhappy .. I rather give up than leaving my laopo unhappy always .
I cried when I saw the sms . But I don't know whether is it true , If i really agree and accept your promise , wants you to hold ur promise ; NO NIGHT LIFE ANYMORE
Do you really can do it as what u promise ? Or the promise u made may be just valid for a particular period ?
But at the end , I still let him continue with his night life , because I don't want to stop what he like to do .
I just want him to know what he is doing , what he is talking about when I'm not around . I don't want any lies between us . I very afraid that he will fall in love with another girl one day , as I said , I know he loves me much now , but nothing is impossible , who knows what will happen in the future ?
Whenever he is going out at night , I can't really sleep well on the whole night . Last time I won't wait him , but now wait him back home routinely is a MUST in my life , getting more care of him . These two days continuously , I sleep around 1am , but wake up at 4am ... Nothing to wake me up , automatically wake up , just because he is not in the home yet .
Every one is hovering around my ears , told me that He is a good guy , He really love me much .
I know , I witness it . But I still don't know why , I'll still think of possibilities of negative things will happen , maybe just to protect myself or as a preparation when it really happens ? Just like last time of my unawareness , I have no preparation at all , so i got hurt seriously .
Calvin ;
to conclude ,
I Love You ; I changed , to be loyal to boyfriend . Seriously put our relationship to priority . I hope you are the 7th , and the last .
I Trust You ; Anything must tell me honestly . When you have problems , treat me as your brother but not girlfriend , keng sam xi ; When I have problems , I will treat you as my jimui but not boyfriend , keng sam xi . This is what I want . I know I did wrong also , I didn't honest before . Let's start now together , always honest .
And one last thing
sorry for all
sorry for my bad tempered .
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
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